So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Randomize
