he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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