i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
