dude i'm inner monologue high
honey bunches of taint.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
