it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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