the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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