that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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