New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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