sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
