Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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