FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
well you can't waste a boner
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
