Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
