Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
