This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I puked a lego.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
