you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
