batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
