I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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