No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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