Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
