What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
