Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
