it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
