can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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