Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
