Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
