Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
