I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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