Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
