just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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