whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
