my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
