I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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