Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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