Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
