Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
