i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
just tell him i said nine months
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
