He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
