He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
