He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
