i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
