dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I FOUND THE LEGS
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
