Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
