i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Randomize