would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
