I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
