A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
This is classic penis vs brain.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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