You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
