Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
