I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Randomize
