Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
