Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
organizing the empties. That sober.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
